But you know very well any expectancy from my side
Is like a personal invite to you
You cannot appear soon enough
So I figure there must be a way to have you vanish forever
Rather soon than later
I notice you sitting next to me
Not far in the corner where I would prefer you to stay
You must be happy to find me in this state again
I can see it from the sly expression on your face you are casting in my direction
It is me and my rapid breathing and even more rapid heartbeat on this side
Against you and your strange and expectant silent presence on the opposite side
My handbag is always my first resource against you and your desperate onslaught
In there I have to find the small yellow heart shaped concor tablet at the speed of lightning
Specially reserved for an occasion like this
Saviour in its own right – swallowed with a mouthful of water from the tap of the basin
Yes, I notice you even follow me on my swift way down the corridor
On my way to my second resource – my kitchen
Where I am trying to find a little source of calcium which I believe may assist my exhausted heart
In its race to absolutely nowhere - for as long as this ordeal may take to subside
Maybe I shall survive
If I can only find my breath in the following 5 minutes without passing out
No, I have never passed out as yet – I always stay upright – on my feet – wide awake
I choose to endure the full punishment - instead of lying down in submission to YOU
What a joke will it anyway be if I die now
With no witness present to at least understand my unreasonable , terrifying fear of YOU
I’d rather live to see you vanish at the same speed as you have entered my private space minutes ago
Dying is not an option , however weird my attempted struggle to live may seem.
And then it is happening at last
My rapid breathing subsides
My heart rhythm also recovering from its race to nowhere
A couple of moments of utmost relieve – I can breathe – I can breathe
Now it is my turn to help you:
THE ORIGIN OF PANIC ATTACKS
Nightmares are short periods of anxiety following an experience from your sub conscious mind. Normally a person wakes up and realises the terrible dream is over, even forgetting most of the contents within a couple of moments
Without further concern about the validity of the experience and whether to dwell over remaining images flashing into and out of the mind
But in some cases real life events have prolonged effects on the human psyche because it has not been resolved efficiently after the scaring event.
The case scenarios may be very different from person to person
But the effects of unresolved fears, and the way to treat and heal the symptoms, are similar.
In some cases the fears may involve actions from third parties who interfered with a person’s normal social or psychological development at a sensitive age.
It must be harder for a person to overcome the consequential fears from such scenarios
Motivational books and courses may not be sufficient coaching for each and every person who is suffering from debilitating physical and emotional responses.
Real support and personal life coaching by a qualified expert may be advisable instead.
My story is simple and easy to understand – yet it gave me a good understanding of the subject
We lived on a small farm situated in between mountains
A happy place to be, with lots of opportunities to experience nature to the fullest
Life was a real pleasure
But there were a couple of boring moments too
Especially one morning when my little sister and I decided to invent a new in-house game
We would lock each other up in the loose standing clothing closet in my parents’ room
Just for a minute or so, as long as the locked up one can endure the darkness inside,
With little or no space to move, as the closet was full of jackets and other heavy stuff on hangers.
It happened at my age seven
My little sister - three years younger than myself - was at age four.
The difference in age should have bothered me - on second thought -
But it was more exciting to play risky games than not to play risky games when we were highly bored
Anyway, at age seven nobody thinks of what may possibly go wrong – do we?
So it happened that I have locked up my sister first because I am older and wiser and would know how to respond in case something goes wrong
On her first shout I let her out by unlocking the door with the removable key
Easy as that.
It was my turn then, and everything went well, until ….
My sister was eager to unlock the door from outside on my shout
She did not mean to waste any time
But that was it …
The removable key fell from the keyhole onto the floor before the door was unlocked.
My sister was trying her very best to fit the key back into the keyhole
None of her repeated attempts being successful
I realised I have big trouble and got all the more tensed
While I tried to listen what was happening on the other side of the locked wooden closet door
With the mirror facing my little sister.
At last my sister gave up and announced her decision to call our mom for assistance
I heard her calling, but I could not hear my mom responding to her calls
She must have been outside doing things in the yard too far to hear my sister’s first calls.
In the meantime I felt powerless in the darkness and limited space.
My heart was beating right up in my ears
I was slamming on the door from the inside, hoping to attract attention
But by doing so, the closet became very unstable
My biggest fear was that it would tip over and fall face down on the door to make everything worse
So I had to be cautious despite my increased anxiety
I thought it took hours for my mom to arrive on the scene and set me free at last
I was happy to be alive and had no ill feelings towards my little sister after all
But the effect of the experience was huge and I did not want to repeat the exercise by getting in and out of the closet again.
I recall the above event as being the origin of my first unreasonable fear for narrow spaces
Of course there were more events contributing to my well established fear for enclosed spaces
It so happened that my 18 months old son and my household servant became trapped in the elevator at the seventh floor of the flats where we lived once.
They were trapped for 90 long minutes before the Service provider turned up to fix whatever went mechanically wrong with the elevator
From there I avoided using elevators for any reason because of my fear of being trapped.
I‘d rather use the staircase in any situation no matter how silly it made me feel in the presence of other.
It was not to increase my fitness
It was out of cold fear
Phobias and anxiety make life miserable for the suffering person.
It makes no sense to the spectators.
They may even find it strange and weird
There is no logic behind most of the panic attacks.
So what are your fears ?
Fear of death
Fear of life
Fear of medication
Fear of being alone
Fear of rapid heartbeat
Fear of animals
Fear of failure
Fear of success
Fear of being rejected
Fear of saying something wrong
Fear of being exposed
Fear of bloody-well anything
It is possible to become fully released from debilitating fears?
I have recovered from my personal fears
I purchased workbooks on anxiety and phobia
I had to desensitize myself all the way back to where it started
It worked well for me
This is what I have done - this is what you have to do - this is my tip of the day:
Stop anticipating the symptoms related to anxiety or panic attack
You are going to have a panic attack if bad stuff happens
Just do not go and fetch the symptoms in advance any more
Get into the elevator
Watch the doors closing
Tell yourself this is not your happy place
Your happy place is somewhere out in the open
Be afraid but do not allow it to become more than that for the moment
When the doors open you walk out
And if the doors do not open
Try to die.
www.amazon.comis the website to search for workbooks on Anxiety and Phobias.
In the event that your symptoms are too intense, rather ask your doctor to be referred
for individual therapy to be desensitized under supervision of an expert in the field.
Life is too beautiful to allow debilitating fears to rule.
We need to hear your story.
Please respond by using the inbound email address from our website
Make it your destiny to overcome each and every fear in your life without further postponing.